为什么爱情世界里的付出和牺牲不受法律保护? – Why is there no legal protection in the world of love?

在爱情世界里,一个人为另一个人无论付出多少,牺牲多少,归根结底,只是因为这些付出和牺牲能让自己开心,所以那些用自己的付出和牺牲裹挟对方意志的行为,是很可耻的。有些人在对方变心后,以自己为对方付出很多、牺牲很多为由,挥刀砍向对方,或是往对方脸上泼硫酸,这更是不可饶恕的罪恶。

爱情世界里的付出和牺牲,法律不会予以保护。这就好像你爱上了一个人,为了让对方开心,你为之花了很多钱,你给对方买了很多衣服和化妆品,或是请对方品尝各种美食。如果你是一个富豪,你甚至还有可能赠送对方豪宅和名牌轿车。当你们的恋爱关系结束了,你想把你当初为对方付出的那些东西要回来?不好意思,你的付出是不受法律契约保护的。如果你强迫对方归还你为之付出的那一切,那么违法的就是你了。

还有很多人,他们付出的可能不是实际的物质和财富。他们付出的这样一类东西,例如自己长久的“心痛”,例如用刀在自己的胳膊上刻上对方的名字,例如在给对方承诺时用烟头在自己的胳膊上烫几个伤疤。这类自虐式的行为根本算不上是什么“付出”,他们之所以这样做,归根结底,还是因为这种自虐可以让他们的内心获得快感。如果有人用这样的“付出”去裹挟对方的意志,这不仅很无耻,更是很可笑。

究其本质,爱情世界里的付出和牺牲,一方面可以让你开心,另一方面也是为了让对方可以自愿给你某些你所渴望的有形或无形的东西。你只能让对方自愿给你,你不能强迫对方。这就好像你自认为你已经把你的心献给了对方,但你却无法用强制手段得到对方的心。你只能用这样一种方式得到一个人的心,即想办法让对方心甘情愿把心给你。

众所周知,法律只保护婚姻关系中的某些付出和牺牲。为什么法律不保护爱情世界里的付出和牺牲?因为你在付出的同时已经得到了很多回报,例如你得到了身心愉悦的感觉,即使你觉得很痛苦,那也是一种令人愉悦的痛苦,这种痛苦是无数人求之不得的。至于你渴望得到的其他回报,你只能寄希望于对方自愿给你,你不能强制索取。

In the world of love, it doesn’t matter how much you pay or sacrifice, because ultimately, the gifts and sacrifices are just a way to make yourself happy and those who use their gifts and sacrifices to control the other are acting shamefully. Some people, after the other has had a change of heart, on account of the gifts and sacrifices they made, will brandish a knife or throw acid at their face: this is unforgivable crime!

The gifts and sacrifices made in the world of love cannot be protected by law. It’s like this: you’ve fallen in love with someone, and to make them happy, you’ve spent a lot of money, you’ve bought them clothes and cosmetics, of invited them to eat all sorts of good things. If you’re wealthy, you might even have bought them a house or a luxury car. When the relationship is over, do you want these things you gave the other back? Sorry, there is no legal contract that protects you. And if you force the other to return everything you gave them, you even have the law against you.

For other people, what they give may not be material or actual wealth. What they give is things like a life-long ‘heart-pain’, like carving the name of their beloved in their arm with a knife, like a number of scars on their arms from cigarette burns, made when they committed to the beloved. This kind of masochistic behaviour, in the end, can hardly qualify as ‘a gift’, because ultimately, they did all this because it gave them pleasure in their hearts. And if someone uses this kind of ‘gift’ to force their counterpart, not only is it shameful, but it’s also comical.

In essence, the gifts and sacrifices made in the world of love, are made on the one hand to make you happy, and on the other hand so that the other will voluntarily give you tangible or intangible things that you desire. You can only let the other give you voluntarily, you cannot force them. It’s like you think you’ve already given up your heart to the other, but you cannot get the heart of the other by force. This is the only way to get to the heart of the other person: finding ways for them to voluntarily give it to you.

As we all know, the law only protects a few gifts and sacrifices within marriage. So why does the law not protect the gifts and sacrifices that happen in the world of love? Because as you’re giving, you’re already getting a lot in return, for instance, you’ve felt relaxed, and even if you feel pain, it’s a kind of pleasant pain, a kind of pain that many people yearn after. And as for other rewards that you desire, you can only hope for the other to give them voluntarily, you cannot request them by force.

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