同床好友 – Friends with benefits

一位未署名的网友来信说:

明天要考英语了,一个学期没上课,本来应该临时抱佛脚的,但复习不进去,挂就挂吧。这段时间发生的事情太乱了。我也不想要有什么解决方式,甚至也不想有太多人看见,我只想说说。周围的朋友都不能够说,不够亲近,或是不能理解。

现在陌陌这类的应用挺多。那天晚上睡不着就用手机上了下QQ,又神使鬼差地去查找了下附近的人。过不多久有个人打招呼,“兼职”。当时我不知道半夜这个时段净是单身寂寞男求炮友的,要是知道估计就忽略掉了。觉得很奇怪,就问兼什么职。那边就答,学生兼职。一次八十包夜两百。我瞬间就明白了。但是出于好玩,就顺着话头回了他,说价太低,你再加点,还要戴套。就这么一来二往扯了好久,我直觉他人其实挺靠谱的,不像要找小姐的人。后来他说他是因为心情不好,想找人出来说说话。问能不能第二天一起吃一个晚饭,就陪他说说话。他说是按时计费,会给钱的。我想想也就答应了。然后此时一阵强烈的困意袭来,当时四点多,我就去睡了。

第二天下午三点多的时候,他说他女朋友来找他,走不开,问能不能晚点再去,然后就不要回了(他知道我是学生,晚上有门禁太晚了不能回),说不会做,就说说话。照常理我是不该去的,但结果我还是等到了八点钟出门了。到了约定的接头地点,等了一阵他过来了。说真的本来我以为他该工作几年了,所以第一眼看去觉得,嗯,真是工作几年了吧。结果后来才晓得居然比我还小一年,也还在上学 -_!! 表示外貌好成熟。然后就去吃了点东西。渐渐我就知道了,他是因为女朋友出轨特别伤心,又不知道怎么办,很迷茫,所以朋友建议他这样找一个来“转移情绪”。然后就去开房了(诶,为什么去开房?废话,要不然晚上怎么过一夜?)我去洗澡的时候他哐当哐当买了一堆酒回来,这架势真要喝一晚上吖。然后就开喝,开始侃各种。其实聊得挺投机的。中途有很多小细节很感动我,是个很体贴很细心的人。但是因为屡屡涉及他的感情问题,酒喝得痛苦,话也讲得痛苦。可以看出他真的很爱很爱那个女孩子吖。然后就这么折腾到了四五点,都困得不行了,躺一张床上睡了。是的,木有发生关系。

第二天起得早,因为我有考试要急着赶回去。但其实一天都过得浑浑噩噩的,完全不能相信我前晚居然跟一个才认识不超过一天的陌生男人躺在一张床上过了一晚。我也是有男朋友的,关系也很稳定。但不知道为什么事情居然就那么荒诞地发生了。一直没缓过神来。可能就是因为这种又奇怪又荒诞的感觉,我居然发现对他的感觉很不一般。就是,像喜欢上一个人的感觉。想了解他的所有,他发信息过来会很高兴。就这么短短几天,我发现我自己的感情发展得有点迅疾。在感情方面我一般比较理智,这一次真的不知道自己在想什么。昨天他又叫我出去。同样的理由同样的地方,连房间都是一样的。如果说第一次是因为好玩,刺激,那这次呢?我不敢想我为什么还要答应。这次他仍然是一堆酒一堆烟,因为跟女朋友又吵架了。半夜的时候他出去买宵夜,电脑开着QQ挂着,我忍不住还是翻了他和他女朋友的聊天记录。不是不难过的。他们那么好,我这算什么事儿呢。然后陪他看了场球,西班牙对法国。他说他跟人堵法国会赢,要是输了的话我得借他一肾去卖,要不然真输不起。我说出门时把肾忘寝室了。他就说,那就肺吧,这总该带了。我多想讲,就算我掏心掏肺出来了,又怎么样呢,你要么。

下半场的时候我们俩都躺下了。都知道这场球法国要输。他喝酒喝得多,说不了几句话就睡了。睡得很不踏实,不停踢被子。我就不停帮他盖上。一边盖觉得好心酸。这算怎么个事儿呢。他有女朋友,我也有男朋友,但是怎么就能在一张床上一起睡了俩晚上呢,尽管没发生关系。最荒唐的是我怎么会喜欢他,才认识五天不到。

乱得很,先这样。

 

Source: shu0, 7 September 2012

An anonymous online friend of mine sent this to me:

I have my English exam tomorrow. Since I didn’t attend class for a whole semester, I should be cramming right now. But I cannot continue studying, who cares if I flunk it? What happened recently is too messed up. I don’t want a solution, and I don’t want too many people to see this. I just want to talk about it. I can’t tell my friends because they are not close enough or won’t understand where I’m coming from.

There are many uses of MoMo these days. I couldn’t sleep the other night so I went on QQ (a popular instant messaging program in China) on my mobile phone. For some reason I decided to search for people who are nearby. It didn’t take long for someone to PM me, “part time”. At that time, I didn’t know that it was that time of the night when single and lonely men search for friends with benefits. If I did know, it probably slipped my mind at that time. I felt curious, so I asked him, “What do you do mean ‘part time’?” On the other end, he replied, “Part time student. Eighty for a one off and two hundred for the night”. In that instance, I understood. But I decided to play along and replied “The price is too low. Raise it and include a ‘packaged deal’.” This exchange went on for a while, and I started to feel that this guy wasn’t as dodgy as I initially thought. He didn’t look as if he was looking for a booty call. Later, he said that he was feeling pretty lousy and wanted to find someone for a chat. He asked if we could meet up for dinner and a chat the next day. He said that he will pay by the hour. I thought about it and agreed. Afterwards, I suddenly felt really tired as it was already four in the morning so I went to asleep.

At around three in the afternoon the next day, he said that his girlfriend was over and he couldn’t get away. He asked if we can meet later and spend the night (he knows that I’m a student and there’s a curfew. There’s no way I can head home if I’m out too late.) No sex, just chatting. Common sense told me that I shouldn’t go, but still I waited until eight in the evening before heading out. I got to the meeting point and he came a while later. Honestly, I thought that he had probably been working for a few years so when I first saw him, I thought, yeah, he’s been working for a while. Later, I found out that he was actually a year younger than me and still studying! This showed that he looks older. We went to get something to eat later. Slowly I understood, he’s upset because his girlfriend has gone off the rails and he has no idea what to do. He’s confused, and his friends suggested finding a ‘rebound’. Later, we went to a hotel room (Why? Please, how else do we spend the night?) When I was having a shower, he bought a ton of alcohol. Looks like we’ll be drinking all night. We started drinking and talking. It felt pretty good talking to him. Some of the little details were really touching and showed me that he’s a caring and considerate person. But because we kept talking about his relationship problems, it became more painful as we drank and talked. I could tell that he really really loved that girl. We kept this up till four or five in the morning, until we were so tired we collapsed into bed. That’s right, nothing else happened.

The next day I woke up early. Because of my exam, I had to rush back but I was out of it for the whole day. I couldn’t believe that the other night, I had slept in the same bed with a stranger whom I had known for less than a day. I’m also in a stable relationship with my boyfriend, but I have no idea how such a preposterous thing could have happened. I still couldn’t make sense of it. Maybe it’s because of this strange and ridiculous feeling, I felt that my feelings towards this guy are not normal, like, I kind of feel that I like him. I want to know everything about him, and when he sends me a message I feel really happy. In a space of a few days, I realised that my feelings have developed really quickly. With relationships I’m usually more rational, but this time I have no idea what I’m thinking about. Yesterday he asked me out again. Same reason, same place; even the hotel room was the same. If the first time was fun and exciting, what about this time? I didn’t dare to think about why I have to answer that. This time, he brought a ton of alcohol and cigarettes. He had fought with his girlfriend again. In the middle of the night, he went out to get supper. His QQ was open on the computer, so I had a look through his chat logs with his girlfriend. I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t disappointed. They were great together, what am I compared to that? Later we watched a soccer match together, Spain verses France. He said, he had a bet with someone that France would win. If he lost, I would have sell one of his kidneys or else he wouldn’t know how to pay up. I told him that I forgot my kidney in my room. He said, “how about your lungs, surely you’ve brought them”. I really wanted to say, “So what if I take out my heart and my lungs? Do you want them?”

During the second half, we lied down in bed. We both knew that France was going to lose this match. He had drunk too much and fell asleep without saying too much. He didn’t sleep too well and kept kicking at the blanket. I kept covering him up again. Every time I did that, I felt horrible inside. What the hell is this? He has a girlfriend, I have a boyfriend, but why have we slept together in the same bed for two nights? Even though nothing happened, the most ridiculous thing is that I’ve started falling for him, and we’ve only known each other for less than five days.

This is messed up, but it’ll do for now.

Source: shu0, 7 September 2012

3 Comments

Join the discussion and tell us your opinion.

Catherinereply
September 7, 2012 at 3:42 pm

Interesting selection of articles. The typical City Blues VS. confused young adult drama, I am looking forward to seeing the translations.

julien.leyrereply
September 7, 2012 at 4:06 pm

Shudong is a really interesting website – direct insight into the emotional lives of young Chinese people today. Please pass word around if you know potential translators!

Sense and Sexuality: Chinese scholars discuss the eroticMarco Polo Project blogreply
September 3, 2014 at 10:10 am

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